Child Abuse

Child abuse is harm to, or neglect of, a child by another person, whether adult or child. Child abuse happens in all cultural, ethnic, and income groups. Child abuse can be physical, emotional - verbal, sexual or through neglect. Abuse may cause serious injury to the child and may even result in death.
Most of us can’t imagine what would make adult use violence against a child, and the worse the behavior is, the more unimaginable it seems. But the incidence of parents and other caregivers consciously, even willfully, committing acts that harm the very children they’re supposed to be nurturing is a sad fact of human society that cuts across all lines of ethnicity and class. Whether the abuse is rooted in the perpetrator’s mental illness, substance abuse, or inability to cope, the psychological result for each abused child is often the same, deep emotional scars and a feeling of worthlessness.
Abuse can happen in any family, regardless of any special characteristics. However, in dealing with parents, be aware of characteristics of families in which abuse may be more likely:
Families who are isolated and have no friends, relatives, church or other support systems.
Parents who tell you they were abused as children.
Families who are often in crisis (have money problems, move often).
Parents who abuse drugs or alcohol.
Parents who are very critical of their child.
Parents who are very rigid in disciplining their child.
Parents who show too much or too little concern for their child.
Parents who feel they have a difficult child.
Parents who are under a lot of stress.


Why would someone abuse a defenseless child? What kind of person abuses a child? Not all child abuse is deliberate or intended. Several factors in a person's life may combine to cause them to abuse a child:
Stress, including the stress of caring for children, or the stress of caring for a child with a disability, special needs, or difficult behaviors
Lack of nurturing qualities necessary for child care
Immaturity: a disproportionate number of parents who abuse their children are teenagers
Difficulty controlling anger
Personal history of being abused
Isolation from the family or community
Physical or mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety
Alcohol or drug abuse
Personal problems such as marital conflict, unemployment, or financial difficulties.
No one has been able to predict which of these factors will cause someone to abuse a child. A significant factor is that abuse tends to be intergenerational – those who were abused as children are more likely to repeat the act when they become parents or caretakers.
In addition, many forms of child abuse arise from ignorance. Sometimes a cultural tradition leads to abuse. Such beliefs include:
Children are property.
Parents (especially fathers) have the right to control their children in any way they wish.
Children need to be toughened up to face the hardships of life.
Girls need to be genitally mutilated to assure virginity and later marriage.


Tragedy of My Third Eye by Suchen Christine Lim..

I have read the Tragedy of My Third Eye by Suchen Christine Lim that narrates the story based on child abuse. In the story, it shows that a six years old child, Ping who has been abuse by people around her such as her mother, teacher, neighbors and friends. At school, her friend, Linda who can speak English so well compared to Ping who couldn’t speak a word of English. Because of that, her teacher, Miss Wang called her ‘stupido’. Then, Miss Wang just focus on Linda because she is clever and neglected others student especially Ping. As a result, Linda becoming arrogant and bullying their friend by choose to be her slave or enemy and Ping is one of them. When Ping refuses to being her slave, Linda was very angry and even scolded to those who looked at her.
Besides that, at Ping’s home, she had been abuse by her Mother who is actually her aunt, Ah Koo. She was the woman who forced Ping to live with her. Then, she treated Ping badly like push her into the room, locked the door and caned her without mercy that Ping’s was injured by brushing her legs until broken her skin. Other than that, at the age of six, Ping has to make her breakfast by herself and she always being scolded by her auntie. Her auntie also keep force her to bath and eat. So, Ping became scared to her auntie and just follows what she said although she can’t make it.

Article from newspaper...

Another issue on child abuse is in the New Straits Times, Thursday, September 25, 2008. The headline of this article is ‘Teacher hit me, says student’. This incident happened at Kuala Terengganu, 17 years old student; Zaim Junaidi Ibrahim claimed that the teacher then punched him at the face, causing his lips bleed, and kicked him in the torso while warning him not to be ill-mannered.
Following the incident, Zaim called his father who rushed to the school in Wakaf Tembusu. Zaim’s father said he lodged a report at the Gong Badak police station after meeting the principle, who promised to investigate the matter.
The similarity of the Tragedy of My Third Eye by Suchen Christine Lim and the article from News Straits Times is both of the stories are a child abuse. But the cases are different. Ping faces neglected abuse such as lack of medical or dental care, she also lack of attention by her auntie. For example, he needs to prepare her breakfast by herself not like other kids who being served by their mother. Whereas, the types of child abuse that Zaim faced is physical abuse by his teacher at school. Physical child abuse is an adult’s physical act of aggression directed at a child that causes injury, even if the adult didn’t intend to injure the child. Such acts of aggression include striking a child with the hand, fist, or foot or with an object.
Other than that, Ping also faced emotional child abuse that involves behavior that interferes with a child’s mental health or social development. Such abuse can range from verbal insults to acts of terror, and it’s almost always a factor in the other three categories of abuse. While emotional abuse by itself doesn’t involve the infliction of physical pain or inappropriate physical contact, it can have more long-lasting negative psychological effects than either physical abuse or sexual abuse. For example, by verbal abuse like belittling or shaming the child name-calling, making negative comparisons to others, telling the child he or she is “no good," "worthless," "a mistake."
Emotional abuse comes not only from adults but from other children: siblings, neighborhood (Linda’s father) or schoolyard bullies (Linda), and peers in schools that permit a culture of social ostracism the “mean girl” syndrome. The signs of emotional child abuse include apathy, depression, and hostility. It is happens at Ping’s school, and Ping is reluctant to go to school and develop or fake a physical complaint.
Child abuse can produce dire consequences during the victim’s childhood and adulthood. Some effects of child abuse are obvious, a child is malnourished or has a cast on her arm, a nine-year-old develops a sexually transmitted disease. But some physiological effects of child abuse, such as cognitive difficulties or lingering health problems, may not show up for some time or be clearly attributable to abuse. Other effects of child abuse are invisible or go off like time bombs later in life.

Just as all types of child abuse have an emotional component, all affect the emotions of the victims. These effects include low self-esteem, depression and anxiety, aggressive behavior/anger issues, relationship difficulties, alienation and withdrawal, personality disorders, clinginess, neediness, flashbacks and nightmares.
Many adults who were abused as children find it difficult to trust other people, endure physical closeness, and establish intimate relationships. Child abuse can play itself out not only in how its victims feel but in what they do years later. Children who suffer abuse have much greater chances of being arrested later as juveniles and as adults. Significant percentages of inmates in U.S. prisons were abused as children. One of every three abused or neglected children will grow up to become an abusive parent.

The Colour Purple (film)

The changes that Celie and Shug go through…

Albert’s old flame, the jazz Singer Shug Avery, for whom Albert has carried a torch for many years, comes to live with him and Celie. Delirious with sickness, Shug initially insult Celie by saying “you sure is ugly” on their first meeting, but they eventually become close friends and Shug helps Celie begin to see her worth as human being. They also entertain a lesbian affair is only hinted in the film.
Nettie meanwhile, has been living with missionaries in Africa and writing to Celie often. Without telling Celie, Albert confiscates Nettie’s letter and telling Celie that she will never hear from her sister again. During a visit from Shug and her new husband, Celie and Shug discover many years worth of Nettie’s correspondence. Reconnecting with her sister and the assurance that she is still alive helps give Celie the strength to stand up to Albert, threatening his life and then leaving him permanently. For example, in the scene at the table when they have their meals and Celie said that she want to go with Shug to build her new life.
Shug also got courage from Celie to continue her life. After she becomes friend with Celie, she realises about her life and wants to improve it. For instance, at the scene when Albert brought Shug at his house. At that time, she is in bad condition like drunk. Then, after she met with Celie she become more cheerful and learns something from kindness that showed by Celie.



The roles of women as portrayed in the film…

. The film tells the story of a young African American girl named Celie and shows the problems faced by African American women during the early 1900s, including poverty, racism and sex discrimination. The character Celie is transformed as she finds her self-worth through the help of two strong female companions her.
Women portrayed as someone whose abuse and slaves of sex. Celie suffers sexual abuse from her stepfather. Celie begins being abuse and raped by her stepfather when she is young. By the time she is fourteen, she has already had two children (Olivia and Adam) by stepfather, who takes them away from her at childbirth and forces Celie to marry local widower whom she calls “Mister”, but his name is Albert Johnson. Then, Albert, who did his eyes on Celie’s younger and more attractive sister, Nettie is showed in the scene where Nettie is on her way to go to her school. Suddenly, Albert follow her by rides his horse then he tried to raped Nettie but unfortunately Nettie get survive from him.
Besides that, women portrayed as someone that should follow the man order like doing housework instead of socialize with other people. Celie is physically abused by her husband. For instance, Albert treats Celie like a slave, making her clean up his disorderly household and take care of his unruly children. Albert treats and rapes her often, intimidating Celie into near silence and submission. Albert also didn’t allowed Celie to contact with her sister, Nettie even through the letter.
Other than that, woman portrayed as being discriminates. For example, Celie has been discriminate by her stepfather. Her stepfather gives more attention to her sister Nettie rather than her by send Nettie to school while she is stay at home doing the housework and what so ever. Another example is discrimination towards Sofia. She was arrested by police because she being rude to the white people. After she released from the prison, she also still need to be servant to the white people to redeem her mistake toward white people.

Prof. Dr. Lee Su Kim's background (The Forbidden)

E-mail Address: sukim25@yahoo.com

Position: Associate Professor, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM)

Fields of Specialisation: Intercultural Communication, Second Language Education

Academic/ Prof. Qualifications:
Degree: Doctorate in Education Field: Second Language Education Year: May 2001 Institution: University of Houston, Texas, USA
Degree: Master in Education Field: TESL Year: 1983 Institution: University of Malaya, Kuala Lumpur
Degree: Diploma in Education Field: TESL Year: 1978 Institution: University of Malaya, Kuala Lumpur
Degree: Bachelor in Education Field: English language Year: 1978 Institution: University of Malaya, Kuala Lumpur

Major Publications:
1. Lee, Su Kim. (1987).The use of freewriting in the teaching of writing. The English Teacher, Vol. XVI Dec. 1987, 99-103.

2. Lee, Su Kim. (1987).Understanding reading strategies. On TESL 1987, Vol. I, 29-36.

3. Lee, Su Kim. (1989).The reading strategies of ESL learners at a Malaysian university. The English Teacher, Vol. XVIII, September 1989, 80-95.

4. Lee, Su Kim.(1991).Malaysian literature in English - the use of English by local writers of fiction. Journal of Language Teaching, Linguistics and Literature,Vol. I, 28-37.

5. Lee, Su Kim. (1992). Journals: a process of discovery. Journal of Language Teaching, Linguistics and Literature, Vol. II, 105-113.

6. Lee, Su Kim. (1994).Designing materials with local color and feel. Guidelines, Vol. 16, No. 2, 78 - 85.

Books
1. Lee, Su Kim. (1994). Explorations: Process-based Writing Tasks in English. Kuala Lumpur: Penerbit Fajar Bakti.

2. Lee, Su Kim. (1995). The Golden Moral Readers: The Four Friends and other Short Stories. Kuala Lumpur: Eastview Publications Sdn. Bhd.

3. Lee, Su Kim. (1995). The Golden Moral Readers: Home Alone and other Short Stories. Kuala Lumpur: Eastview Publications Sdn. Bhd.

4. Lee, Su Kim. (1996).Malaysian Flavours. Kuala Lumpur: Pelanduk Publications.

5. Lee, Su Kim. (1996). Story and Grammar Charts for Form 1. Kuala Lumpur: Penerbit Fajar Bakti.

6. Lee, Su Kim. (1998). Manglish: Malaysian English at Its Wackiest. Singapore: Times Books International.
7. Lee, Su Kim.(2004).Malaysian Flavours. Second Edition. Kuala Lumpur : Pelanduk Publications.

Victoria and Her Kimono....

I have read Victoria and Her Kimono by M. Shanmughalingam. In my opinion, at first, this story is quite boring and not gets my intention to read it until the end but I have to. So, I just read through the story until the end.
In terms of language, actually this story is not easy to understand. That is why I’m not interested to read it. The writer use high lexis word and the word are not similar to me. For example, notwithstanding, daffodils, chauvinism, camouflaged and so on. So, I take a lot of time to read it.
Other than that, the writer uses an English word but in the way Indian pronounce it. It is because the writer is an Indian, so that he more exposed to the way Indian speak in English and write it on his story. For example, yee diat, narn sense, and shadaap. As Malay, I didn’t know the way Indian speaks, so it’s quite hard for me to understand.
Besides that, M. Shanmughalingham also use Japan word like “Ohayoh gozaimasu” in his story to show that the story relate to Japan culture and happened during Japan era.
At last, I’ve understand the story after get explanation from my friend and lecturer (Madam Azura) and I found that the story is quite interesting.

Discuss on polygamy issues....

Polygamy is defined as the custom of having more than one wife at the same time. Polygamy is allowed in Islam but we must follow the syarak as our guideline. For example, man who can afford to support his wives. Then, the man should be fair towards his wives in term of his care, ‘nafkah’ (money), and the wives needs.
Why Islam allowed polygamy? It is because Islam want to avoid the followers freely mix between man and woman. So that, Islam allowed polygamy to be legal relationship which is married although the man already have wife.
Other than that, for the couples who does not have child, the man can married to another woman at the same time to get a child from his new wife to increase Islam followers.
Besides that, by practice polygamy, we can strengthen our relationship among Islam followers. For example, the first and the second wife live together and cooperate on doing housework such as cooking, taking care of child and so on.
In contrast, if polygamy does not practice by follow the syarak, it can be disadvantage towards the wives as well as the family. For example, the husband is not fair to his wives and just cares about one wife that he just married. As a result, the first wife will feel lonely and heart broken with her husband behaviour. She might do something unpredictable when she is angry then threaten to her husband and the new wife for her right. It can affect their family relationship to become worst. Actually, polygamy practice is depend to person who good in practicing it and follow the syarak.

Comment on Malaysian English writer.........

I had read Mariah by Che Husna Azhari and Mala by K.S Maniam. Both of the writers are Malaysian English writers. They also can write in a good way like Singaporean and other English writers. It is because based on my reading towards both stories; I can say that it was quite interesting and easy to understand.
In my opinion, Che Husna Azhari who wrote Mariah is good in styles of her writing. Although she not used high lexis word and just writing in simple words but it also can attract readers to read the story because it is quite easy to understand. Other than that, she also used some word in Malay word like abang, tudung saji, nasi belauk and so on. So that, it is easier to Malay readers to understand the story but maybe for the other readers it is quite hard to understand.
While K.S Maniam who wrote Mala also good in style of his writing. I think the story is quite easy to understand although I am not Indian people. But the way he elaborates about Indian customs can be understanding by others. He also used simple words to tell the story and for the ending he used open ending to closed the story and we have to predict what will happen.

Prediction of Mala story by K.S. Maniam......

After Mala was tired going out with Lucy, they going back at 10 pm. At the flat, Sanker was waiting for Mala but Mala just entered the door and go through to their room.
Then, Sanker just follow Mala and said “You won’t believe what I want to tell you”.But Mala just ignored what Sanker said.
“I just got my big contracts, so after this we can start new life, we can have new car and move out to a house in a prestigious area. I will do it for us”. Sanker keep talking.
Then, Mala said “What about child?”
"Since we got better life, now we can have a child."
“Really? Are you kidding me?”
“Or you want me to change my decision?” Sanker said slightly.
“Of course not” Mala said happily and they hug each other.
”Everything for you my dear”
“Thanks” Mala said.
One year later, Sanker had successfully finished his big contracts. He got a lot of income with that. So, like he always dreaming, he buy new car and they move out to a house in a prestigious area with their son, Sammie.
Next month, they want to bring along their son to fly for a holiday in a foreign country. They live happily with the complete family and comfortable life.

Sanker love Mala...........

Sanker also loves his wife, Mala. He was married with Mala although he know that Mala not pretty and bring bad luck. After married, he brings along Mala to Kuala Lumpur to live with him. Sanker work hard to make a lot of money he want their life will change to be better.
After Sanker raking up the money from somewhere, he got a colour television for Mala. Because of loves Mala, Sanker took her to an English film one night, sitting beside her with restless absorption. He was full of his dreams on the way back to the flat. He would buy a better new car, move out to a house in a prestigious area, and fly to a holiday in a foreign country.
Other than that, Sanker bought a lotion and other things to his wifeto looks good and beautiful. He also asked Lucy to teach Mala how to use all the things. When Mala learn about typing, she did not cook meals that day. Then, Sanker show her love by buying dinner from the around the corner for Mala.
Besides that, Sanker also always gave Mala an encouraging hug, just before them descended the steps to the office. When, he was absent to an office, he persuaded Mala that she must learn to take care of herself.
One night, they had quarrel because of Mala said she want a child Sanker do not agree with that. It is because maybe Sanker stable their life and their money management before have a child. It can be proved by Sanker said to Mala, “It’s all for our own good, once I get my big contracts we can start new life”.
As a conclusion, Sanker also loves Mala by doing all those things to give comfortable life to Mala.

Mala loves Sanker............

According to Mala story by K.S Maniam, I think Mala loves Sanker. It is because, after married she willingly to follow Sanker to Kuala Lumpur. They came to a busy row of shops, above which were flats. Sanker rented part of flats. As they stay together, Mala always do her responsible to prepare meal for Sanker.
Mala also willingly to change for Sanker and Sanker made Mala discard her saris and wear dresses. Sanker also asked Mala to don’t rub turmeric on her face because it won’t be smooth and clean, and then Sanker bought a lotion and other things to Mala.
Other than that, Mala show her love by help Sanker in his work. She’s being secretary to Sanker. Although at first, she was afraid of leaving the flat but after Lucy advice her, she want to work with Sanker. Then, she works hard to learn typing and how to answer the phone. As a result, she had learned to write formal, pleasant letters and corrects simple mistakes when Sanker announced that she could go down to the office.
After that, Lucy made Mala put on a dress and then she put make-up on Mala until Mala hardly recognized herself and she wanted to be that way. Mala also had learned to adjust herself according to Sanker criticisms.
Mala doing those entire things because of she loves Sanker very much and she want to have a child with Sanker to complete their life as a family.

Relationship

When the sun sets down,

The night slowly crawls in,

When the moon's up,

Illuminating in the dark skies,

one exists when the other's gone,

light of the world,

shinning in the same sky........

Hungry Ghost

The narrator searching for how was life after death at hell.

In my perception, the narrator’s grandfather doesn’t want go to the hell. That is why he wanted his grandchildren offering him food, hugging his grave and burning money for him to spend.

Giving food is symbolizing people who are still alive giving food to deceased in life after death to eat.

Hugging grave is symbolize the pray and care from family to the deceased.

Burning money symbolize people who are still alive giving money to deceased for spend during his vacation on earth. For example to buy new clothes, a car and a condominium.

The interview

‘Deprivation is largely an attitude of mind’
Deprivation means without enough food, education and all things that necessary for people live happy and comfortable life.
From this quote, I know that Mason adapt his life with deprivation by assume deprivation as behalf of his life.
Besides that, Mason is really good by the way he is thinking. It is because, although he was deprived of the essential of life at that time, but he is very thankful for what he had during in prison like foods and drinks.
Other than that, Mason always looks things in a positive way and learns a lot of things about life during in prison. He also realized how little is really absolutely necessary for live and even happiness.
As a result, he becomes strong man from what he had experience in his life during in prison.

What deprives me?? For me, I got enough food, I got education, I have parent and family who always care about me and give anything that necessary for me. I also have friend who always be with me.
As conclusion, I live happy and got comfortable life although I’m not from richest family and just a daughter of fisherman and a housewife. My parent gives the necessary for me. So, I really thankful and thanks to my parent because gives all the things to complete my life.

At that time, the most important things that Mason need is foods and drinks to get his energy. Other than that, Mason needs education to get job and handle his way of life by himself not being in prison. Mason also needs freedom from being tortured and masochistic. It is because he needs to build his own family, to work and what so ever to live comfortable and happiness.

What necessary for me to have in life? First of all, of course my parent who always take good care of me and give anything that I need. Then, I need drinks and food to support my body needs. Other than that, I need money, education, hand phone, and what so ever…

My Beloved

With the start of each new day

I find myself thinking of them...

In the middle of my busy day,

my mind wanders and I think of them...

Out of nowhere I see they smile,

hear they laugh and I think of them...

Now I know that I miss them very much…

Today is the perfect time to tell them,

what they mean to me..

How I depend on them to love me,

for who I am and believe in me,

for what I hope to be..

How I feel loved each time they smile,

or touch my hand and,

when I need someone to listen,

I know they'll understand..

So, to all my beloved….

I celebrate my love for all of you,

grateful that we have the happiness…

and my life almost complete with caring father and mother,

Lovely family, friends and him…

Return to Paradise by Eliza Riley

Synopsis
Lisa gazed out over the Caribbean Sea. She had married James right here on this spot three years ago to the day. But that seemed such a long time ago now. A lot can change in just a few years - a lot of heartache can change a person and drive a wedge through the strongest ties, break even the deepest love.

Lisa sensed the man approaching even before she turned around. She looked at him and felt the instant spark of connection she had only experienced once before. It felt like meeting a long lost friend not a stranger on a strange beach. They talked of why they were here and finally, against her judgement, Lisa opened up about her heartache of the past year and how events had led her back to the place where she had married the only man she believed she could ever love. She told him of things that had been locked deep inside her, able to tell no one. She told him how she had felt after she had lost her baby.

She was six months pregnant and the happiest she had ever been when the pains had started. She was staying with her mother as James was working out of town. He hadn't made it back in time. She hated him then, for not being there, for not hurting as much as her but most of all for looking so much like the tiny baby boy that she held for just three hours before the took him away. Lisa felt the unbearable burden begin to lift from her, only a bit but it was a start. She began to believe that maybe she had a future after all and maybe it could be with this man.

Actually, the man is Lisa’s husband. They had come here to dissolve their marriage but maybe there was hope. Lisa stood up and took James by the hand and led him away from the bar towards the beech where they had made their vows to each other three years ago. Then, Lisa would cancel their divorce.

I like this story because its description of the scene and feelings of the lovers when they promised each other by the sea. It’s really as if in paradise. I loved how the story was able to portray a couple who get married and then split up then get together again.
To my mind, this story has deep moral. It teaches us that no matter how hard life can be, you should always find a way out and always hope in making up and forgiving each other.

Bugis

My predictions on what will happen after the narrator pull Salmah’s tudung….

Sazalie who looks confuse and shock with the narrator action wants explanation about that. The narrator bravely tells the truth about Salmah who just pretending to get intention from Sazalie.
The narrator couldn’t stand to tells Sazalie about her feeling towards him who loves and could never stop thinking about him. Then, she did it, while Salmah just crying, crying, and crying. After that, Sazalie feels more confuse and at the same time he feels being foolish by Salmah. Actually, he was very angry but he couldn’t stand to look at Salmah that never stop crying and he said to Salmah slowly
“I love you but I have to leave you because you’re not you”
With her lower voice, Salmah said
“I’m sorry for everything”
Suddenly, the narrator said “What about me?”
The narrator hopes that Sazalie would accept her. Unfortunately, Sazalie said “You’re just my friend. I want both of you know that I really disappointed on this matter and I hope both of you don’t argue because of me, just be friend like before. Good bye girls!” Sazalie left the narrator and Salmah with his disappointed feeling. After a few minutes, the narrator and Salmah see each other with no word out from their mouth then, they hug each other and crying at the same time. They realize that their friendship more worthy than love from one guy. Moral of the story, we must be honest in our relationship and appreciate what we have by taking good care on it before losing it.